I think it is very important for people in long term recovery to speak up and advocate for people with this disease. I’ve been sober now since 2006 and I have seen what the stigma of having this disease can do to people and their families. I want to be part of the solution to breaking that stigma and helping those affected, from the addict/alcoholic all the way to the family members who or also greatly affected by the disease and everyone in between.
Sharing a story of recovery, the good times, bad times and how being able to maintain sobriety, live a productive, happy useful life will hopefully show people it can be done and there is hope and people can change and recover no matter how far down they have gone. Hopefully it will show the families , loved one and more importantly the people who just want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend it doesn’t effect them that their are people out there who do recover and by sharing my story it will show that, but more importantly how I live my life, treat other people, raise my children act at work etc will be the real proof but only if I break my silence about being in recovery will they know.
How much time do you have I could write a book or 2 about both!! I will say I have been affected by this disease on every angle. I wouldn’t say I have seen everything there is to see but I have seen a lot.I suffered from active alcoholism and addiction and the effects of it from my earliest memories whether it was family members or my own. Because I was affected from such an early age i never really had a shot at not becoming an addict myself.and by the time I was 13 I was a full blown addict and by 18 I was already trying to get sober. which back in 1994 wasn’t as common as it is today. I was 18 trying to hang around with guys in their 40’s and 50’s who had long term sobriety it was difficult but, it made me who I am today. Which brings me to the recovery piece.
I’ve been sober now since 2006 and I no longer suffer from this disease, I have it, I have to do certain things in order to maintain staying sober, I just don’t suffer from it. My life has gone from being a selfish, self centered, egotistical boy who was full of fear and dishonesty to someone who if I do a few things on a daily basis to maintain sobriety is basically the exact opposite of all those things. Someone who is giving and selfless, doesn’t think the world revolves around them, sees what they can bring to life instead of seeking to take from life. An example to put that into perspective is when I am suffering I am looking to see what I can get out of life, what life has to offer me, what my employer has to offer me, what my friends and family can do for me. When I am on good spiritual grounds and not suffering I am looking for ways to see where I can contribute to life, ways to be a good employee and what I can offer my employer, how can I be a better friend and brother, father, son, etc.
I was very, very fortunate to have a great family support system. My mother has been sober for over 30yrs so she understood what I was going through and what I needed. Like I said previously I had been trying to get sober since I was 18 yrs old and I had met so many people in programs like Alcoholics Anonymous that never gave up on me always supported me and really showed me how live with this disease and recover from it. So I believe it was people helping people, sharing their experience, their time showing compassion and tolerance for me, loving me when I couldn’t love myself.
Being a friend to me when I couldn’t be one to them. People would bring me into their homes to meet their families, they would talk and listen to my problems for hours and try to show me a way out. This is time they could have been spending doing anything else in the world, spending it with their family or friends, but they were there listening to my sickness offering a way out. I would sit there and puke out all my problems on to them not letting them get a word in the conversation and they would sit there and listen patiently nodding their heads, God only knows what they were thinking! when I was done they would make suggestions, not tell me what to do, not tell how to live my life, not give me all the answers, maybe make a suggestion or say something like ” here’s what I did in that situation and here’s how it turned out” .
They loved me enough to allow me to make up my own mind make all the mistakes I needed to make, to hit a bottom and finally start taking suggestions. That is when the miracle of recovery happened and really where my life started to turn around in spite of myself.
